Born for Each Other?
Like “How Your Birth Order Influences Your Life Adjustment” by Lucille K. Forer, the article “Born for Each Other” by Pamela Withers express a general agreement that birth order does shape our attitude and behavior. But magazine article, the writer has two purposes; to inform and to entertain the reader. The topic – what makes two people a good match for each other – is of interest to most people. The title of the article borrows from on expression one often hears when people talk of a good match. If a man and woman are “born for each other,” they are perfect for each other in every way.
The writer brings the example of a couple, Ronald and Lois, who were married twenty years ago. In the early years of their marriage, they were disturbed by constant arguments. They decided to find out the cause of their unsuccessful married life. They started to research on the subject: how birth order (whether you came along first, second or later in your family) affects not only your personality, but also how compatible you are with your mate!
Ronald and Lois were only children (also called the onlies) who grow up in the constant love, care, and affection from their parents, being the apples of their parents’ eyes. Children born as onlies demand constant attention and approval from their parents as a result they subconsciously expect partners to fulfill this expectation. Their domineering behavior can result in quarrels and unhealthy relationship.
Here’s lit of common birth-order characteristics – and some thoughts on the best (and worst) material matches for each:
The oldest children tend to be self-assured, responsible, a high achiever, and relatively serious and reserved, with parental qualities as a result of caring for younger siblings. He may dislike criticism or tolerate others’ mistakes, and he may be slow to make friends, perhaps content with only one common. The oldest child born among same sex: siblings seem to be more independent and domineering. It may be difficult for him or her to find a suitable mate. The best matches are with a youngest, an only, or a mate raised with a large number of opposite-sex siblings. The worst match is with another oldest of same-sex siblings. The oldest sister of brothers is a good match with a youngest, whom she can take care and nurture well. The oldest brother of sisters tends to be easygoing, fun-living, considerate, very fond of women, and good at pleasing females so he is especially well matched with the youngest sister of brothers.
The youngest child of the family gets too much attention and tends to be outgoing, adventurous, optimistic, creative, easygoing and less ambitious than others in the family. He may lack self-discipline, get manipulated and have difficulty making decisions on his own. A younger sister of sisters will match best with an oldest sibling, who is charmed by her playfulness. A youngest brother of brothers, often headstrong, unpredictable, and romantic, will match best with an oldest or middle sister of brothers. The youngest of same-sex siblings should avoid each other, since neither is nurturing, nor are they accustomed to members of the opposite sex. The youngest sister of brothers is best matched with an oldest brother of sisters.
The middle child is often introverted, less likely to take initiative or achieve high academic standards, and more anxious and self-critical than others. The middle child’s most successful marriage will be with a close sibling. Middles often successfully marry other middles, since both are tactful, and not so aggressive.
The only child picks up characteristics of her same-sex parent’s birth order, and this may influence who represents her best match. She feels comfortable when alone. The only child bears the capacity to adjust with any individual, so she’ll fit with any chosen spouse. The only child’s best matched with a younger or middle sister of brothers, or a maternal, oldest sister of brothers. His most difficult match is with another only. The female only child, who tends to be slightly more flexible, is well matched with an older man. Any birth order will do, but her best match is apt to be a brother of sisters. Her worst match is another only child.