Arranging a Marriage in India – Four Levels of Interactions | Flax-Golden Tales
Arranging a Marriage in India – Serena Nanda, USA
The US brought up Serena Nanda has frequently visited India to fulfill her fieldwork. She has great interest to know about Indian culture, custom, tradition, norms, and habit. Unlike her America, In Indian arrange marriage is famous. In the beginning, for her, this type of marriage is oppressive and thinks that how a girl without knowing her life partner can marry. In Indian children’s wedding occurs from the compromised between their parents. Most of the children follow what their parents do. They know that parents are experienced in this case. So that, they wouldn’t get the problem of divorce and dispute each other in the future. But in America love match is famous. So, initially, Serena feels uneasy in the arranged marriage.
Serena met many India marriageable children and also many couples. Once, she met a girl, Sita for whom her parents were arranging a marriage. She was a college graduate student in political science. She also expressed that searching a boy for her was the job of her parents because they were more experienced than her.
In India, Serena had closed friend and her friend had an unmarried son. The son was very handsome and educated but the problem was that he was black and the little bit short. Her friend searched many girls but each time, she got a defect on the girl. She wanted to make her daughter-in-law who was highly educated, whose parents had good social status, who did not go outside alone and it would be also good if she were the single daughter of the family. The writer also playing the role of matchmaking respected and their daughter was beautiful and educated. Her parents also would not allow her to go outside alone. At last with that girl, her friend’s son got married.
This autobiographical writing tells us the value of arranged marriage in India. In this type of marriage, parents search the suitable candidate to get married for their kids. In such a situation, children accept parents’ decision. They know that their parents always do better for them because they are more experienced. Instead of taking a hasty decision and remorse later, they obey what their parents say. Parents do not force them to marry if they find any defect on the boys or girls.
Similarly, parents always chose perspective son-in-law or daughter-in-law according to their social and economic status, caste and religion. Unlike love match, there are many advantages in this marriage. Firstly, there are less possibilities of pre-sexual intercourse between them, so that they will be saved from social scandal. In him the same way, there is also fewer possibilities of divorce. In arrange marriage, children are not permitted to stay together before marriage. After marriage, they make a sexual relationship. Then there will not be the problem of unwanted babies and unwanted mother.
In my opinion, Indian culture, custom, and tradition are so oppressive because it is the 21st century and most of the marriageable kids are educated and intelligent. Time has been changed a lot. So, can parents really choose the best life partner for their kids? Nanda tells us that Indian children accept their parent’s decision. Are Indian kids so loyal and faithful to their parents? Is no Serena sycophant of India? Is arrange a marriage so popular in India? Are Americans so free to choose their life partner and parents do not play any to a role in matchmaking? Serena was an American woman working in India. So how can a foreign woman play the role of matchmaking in India?
After reading this text, I remember my own country, Nepal where love match is being popular. In the past, parents chose suitable boys or girls for their children. Along with the time, the perspective of marriage drastically has been changed. Today most of the kids are educated and they get married when they can stand on their own leg. They think that life is theirs and they should spend their whole life with their spouse. So, they themselves want to search the best suitors but the very sorry fact is that it is quite popular only in town and still in the village, parents themselves make that decision because they think that they are much experienced in that job.
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